Yesterday I
had a long discussion about Child Sexual Abuse which made
me realize that there is very little awareness about this issue.
Little indeed, none of my friends knew the influence of this epidemic. My
discussion partner is highly educated, holding a post graduate degree from one
of the elite institute in India and is currently employed in a multinational
company. This is a highly
neglected topic that people don't discuss about, when the need to do so
is the highest.
The discussion started when I made him aware that April
is recognized as CSA awareness month. This shows how little we know
and care about the issue. People of our age consider this topic out of their
reach as we are not parenting any children yet and hence this is not our cup of
tea. There exists official data projecting that 53%
of Indian children are abused sexually and the key to keep in mind is
that these are only reported cases. With 15% of Indian population
aged below 7 and the average age of 50 % of Indians below 25, it can
be safely assumed that 20-25% of Indian population can be considered
as composed of children. This simply means that two of eight people you see are
children and one of them is being sexually abused. Hence if you are living in
vicinity of at-least 8 people then you have with you someone who is
being or had been sexually abused. This data makes all of us responsible for
this issue.
After recognizing our responsibility let us
start with what is, how to know and how to stop CSA.
Child sexual abuse or child
molestation is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses
a child for sexual stimulation. This is the definition given in Wikipedia and I
think it covers everything. CSA is done by not only adults but by adolescent.
It will not be a psycho looking old stalker but anyone,
mostly someone you can never point a finger to. There is absolutely
no one you can say is incapable of such a horrible crime. Children abused lose
their innocence. Sexuality becomes their way of interaction and they abuse
others, never aware of what they are doing is inappropriate. Till they attain
the age of understanding, the damage is already done. Abused children can start
a chain of events that destroys their innocence and ruins other lives. I read a
first person narrative some time back from a lady and her experiences of CSA.
She said that she was abused for 6 years by her cousin, when she was 6 till she
was 12. For her touching private parts, other’s as well as her own was normal.
Till 9 she was the only child in household and whenever met this cousin of
hers, he touched her all over and she accepted that. This became her way of
dealing with her younger sister when she was born till she was 3. She abused
her own sister. Was this her fault or her cousins? He might be a victim
himself.
Most children are abused by their own grandfathers, uncles, aunts,
cousins, sibling even father. Why? Is s3x hyped in our society? Yes it is.
People going through s3xual frustration look upon children as the easiest
option for their satisfaction. It is sick, indeed it is. When we hear the word
s3x with our family we suddenly see an elephant in the room. It restricts our
sight. We are never able to see how an 8 yr. old in our vicinity is responding
to it. In the movie Monsoon Wedding we see how a very young girl tells her
family nonchalantly what all she knows about kiss. We need to be
more vigilant of a child's interaction with elders. We have to come
to terms with fact that today children are much more aware of sensuality issues
than we can imagine. With nickelodeon cartoons showing a 10-year-old
Kenichi in Ninja Hattori dreaming of his lover Yumeko taking a bath. Shin-Chan peeking under
any skirt he sees, we are giving them enough sultry exposure anyway.
The most difficult question lies in how to know a child is being
abused. Many people including me advocate of education children about good
touch or bad touch. The counter argument I was given was that you are yourself
making children conscious of their bodies and sexuality. With information
gathering tools increasing around us, we have average age when a child searches
for word s3x online down to 8 years. Our children will be more curious than we
were and there will be enough ways(or people) to satisfy their curiosity in the
wrong way. The argument is valid, but do we have the luxury of asking abusers
to stop being sick. No we can’t afford that. For many people the first thought
when a child tells them that he/she doesn’t like certain uncle/auntie/cousin is
that the child is being manner less and should be given a lecture on
how we should respect elders and abide by their wishes. When a child complains
of being touched, we try to deny it by galti
se hua hoga. I have just one question. Do you remember any time you were
touched sexually by mistake? I am sure you do not. No one touches a child
wrongly by mistake. It’s the incarnation of
their monstrous desire.
Government can make laws to punish offenders but is it that we
want? I hope not. Punishing a criminal post crime is no solution. This is not a
theft of material possessions. You can never return a child's innocence by
punishing the offender (if you actually recognize them). We need to
prevent anything like such from happening.
Educating you child/sister/brother, getting out
of presumptions and confrontation are the only way a child can be
protected. You just can’t ask people to stop being sick. No you can’t.
